Question : Mother-in-law~Mother's Day question?
My first mother's day was last year and it was horrible for me. As a new mother I wanted to do something special with my husband. But he went out with his mother and I refused to go with him and just spent the day with my mom. His mother and I didn't get along back then. My husband was angry with his mother because she didn't call me to wish me a happy mother's day (and he also brought up the fact that she doesn't give a $hit about my birthday and expects to get acknowledged on hers). I ALWAYS order a gift for both moms for mother's day. Last year I sent flowers and this year I made up a photo book with pictures of her grandson (which I gave to her a few days before mother's day because I knew that I wasn't going to see her and my husband was working). My husband called his mother for mother's day. She didn't ask to speak with me at all. I think she HATES the fact that she has to share this holiday with me. I guess I should let this roll off my back. But it really bothers me.A few days before she was over the house and I gave her the gift then. I told her that I wasn't sure if we were going to see her because my husband was working. She told me that she didn't need to see me, just my husband...
- asked by qtpie
All Answers:
Answer #1
Your husband was there... What else matters?Let it go.My mil doesn't even
remember my KIDS' birthdays, so, I don't expect anything else. I don't call
her, or buy her things for mother's day. She's not MY mother. She can't think
of my kids, I don't think of her. If my husband calls, fine, but I don't.Your
husband was with you, that's all that matters.
- answered by Tmarie99
Answer #2
Don't ever assume anything.Be adult enough to talk to her if you have something
that is bothering you about the relationship. Don't expect you're husband to
always make it right for you. Not fair for him to be in the middle.If it bothers
you then do something positive besides ask on here about it. If you can fix it,
fix it. If you can't, let it go.But, I would still have to say you do not really
know the depth of it until you are adult enough to sit and talk to her.
- answered by Wise Guy!
Answer #3
people will always give you advice that 'makes sense' about how to deal with
your mother-in-law. they are not normal or rational, tho, they are people, and
people don't always follow set rules. my mother-in-law is just this side of
insane when it comes to doing things i would consider normal or rational. i
would not tell you to just sit and talk with her as if it would work. i would
tell you what my great aunt told my mother, pretend she likes you. pretend
everything is fine, assume she loves you and just can't show it. .....sounded
strange as hell to me at the time, but being married for years to a man with a
psycho for a mom has explained it all. working it all out would be great, but
if all else fails, pretend. your life, your kids' lives, and your husband's
life especially will be better for it.
- answered by friendly neighborhood atheist
Answer #4
You should tell your husband to smooth over everything because if you speak out
it will just make matters worse. Or if you cant handle it just ignore her. Send
no more gifts. You dont need anyones approval!
- answered by Lacems
Answer #5
Kill her with kindness. No reason to be bothered. Just keep smiling, and keep
sending the gifts. You're a better person for it. If she never comes around,
you'll still be in the right.
- answered by happygirl
Answer #6
After all, you're not your husbands mother. You have him all year, why not let
his mother have one day. When your child grows up, then you will have someone to
wish you happy mother's day and spend the day with you. Try to think of someone
other than yourself.
- answered by childhood friend
Answer #7
Let your husband have these special holidays with his mom even if the 2 of you
don't get along .She's the older mom and the time he does or doesn't spend with
her will be very important for him later . Just like you will want this time
with your kids when they get big enough to show their appreciation for you .
It's not particularly a husband and wife holiday but a mother and child holiday
.Concentrate on your children and your mother or another senior lady in your
family on mother's day and let them enjoy their time on this day .
- answered by opinionated
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