Question: Why would hubby give me flowers for valentine's day if we are seperated and heading toward divorce?

Answer #1
because he thinks a few flowers will override his stupidity. Wrong!
- answered by Julie

Answer #2
control effort ignore it
- answered by annie

Answer #3
Talk to him and ask him
- answered by zen522

Answer #4
he may miss you and want you to come back to him, but with all the problems you described it doesn't look like it would be a good situation. He had his chance to change and didn't, now it's time for you to move on and live your own life.
- answered by gypse76

Answer #5
I think this is probably his way of trying to apologize and make things up to you. As long as you don't think it would last if you two got back together again, then I think you should choose to treat it as though it were simply a nice sentiment and definitely don't let yourself be swayed by it.
- answered by soapsoap

Answer #6
The man wants more of the goodness you used to give him.
- answered by La_Nore

Answer #7
He is trying to let you know he cares. A few flowers are not going to do it. He needs to change if he feels he needs you so.
- answered by copestir

Answer #8
If he is abusive AT ALL and refuses help, then RUN don't walk. Even with counseling and serious help there is very little hope that he can change. He sounds very manipulative and sending flowers and being sweet is just a way to soften your emotions and get you back with him. Cut your loses and start new...learn about yourself and why you let him bring you down. Take the time to see a counselor on your own and become the best and strongest person you can be
- answered by Stacey

Answer #9
Hi Kat, this is either a sign that he's still longing to be with you, or a feeling of remorse and a sign of moving on. I know those options are both opposites, but in my opinion, those are the only logical explainations. Good luck.
- answered by Sofia

Answer #10
leave him.ignore the roses it's man law, if a man has a woman during any special event like valentines day he would still get flowers it's genitic.all of us guys have it.on top of that in your trunk??he is still making things hard for you still.if he had just handed them to you then that would be different.if he is abusive then he's a worthless piece of $hit.you can do better.
- answered by beasleybadboy

Answer #11
It's called the "Beaten Wife Syndrome". I was in the same situation, but thankfully I never married him. I would leave or take a break from him and those were the only times he would do something sweet that would suck me back into his void. Every time I came back he would promise me the moon and told me things would be different. It never was different. So I finally left for good. This lead him making attempt after attempt to get me back, but it never worked. His most aggressive attempts were when he found I was soon-to-be married, even though he already had a girlfriend and claimed to have moved on.Thankfully, I met a wonderful man who I married. He treats me how every women deserves to be treated. I'm so glad I moved on from that previous jerk. So the lesson is, if this guy you were with was abusive in any way, shape, or form it's time to leave, and stay that way. You'll find someone who will treat you like a princess.
- answered by Joa5

Answer #12
If you did get back together you two would need a life style change to keep things from going back to the usual b.s.
- answered by Tasha

Answer #13
He's a CONTROL FREAK....isn't he? How do I know? Been there and done that. Divorced now with a protective order against my ex. He raped me, hit me, choked me, and threw me through a wall. Right before we were going into court for the protective order, he hands me roses and a poem. He told me he was SO SORRY and if I gave him another chance that he would change. I knew another chance for him would be my funeral.
- answered by Jennifer M

Answer #14
Here is where womans intuition comes in. Dont purposely put yourself in a dangerous (possibly life-threatening) situation. He wants you back! they are always sweet when thy are in the dog house. Once you let the dog back in the house he attacks you for leaving him out!
- answered by im_the_69_diva

Answer #15
YOu tried ur best to keep it alive. yes. YOu cant live with a person like this. YOu did the rite thing. let him send flowers or even a tiffany's... if it does not keep you at peace, nothin is worth it. Let him do whatever he feels like. Bottomline is dont give in to it to keep u happy. Its better to be practical...
- answered by adyno1

Answer #16
You answered youself when you said do not think it will last. Maybe the best statement would be - you KNOW it wouldn't last. Are you willing to risk all that again just coz some poor guy bought a couple of roses? wake up and do smell the roses, its time to move on, physical abuse has no excuse nowadays, gone are the chest thumping cro-magnon days of yester years when testosterone was blamed for all male folays.
- answered by BujuB

Answer #17
That is part of the abuse, they abuse physically and give you flowers you get abused verbal and they give you flowers. Toss him and the flowers
- answered by Kat G

Answer #18
This is classic. A man treats you life crap then thinks that flowers will fix everything, You left stay gone. I was in an abusive relationship and every time I got a black eye I got some type of gift saying he was sorry and it would never happen again. I was stupid for staying as long as I did but now I have been married to a wonderful man for 17 years and I know what it feels like to be treated like a queen in a mans eye who really loves you. Get a divorce tell him to send his flowers to himself because he is the one that is sick not you. godd luck
- answered by Chandra H

Answer #19
Just write a short note (always good to have things in writing and keep a photocopy before you mail it) and say "Thank you for the roses. I counted them and there seems to be a few roses short - for the times you made me cry. Let's just call it even though and go on with our separate lives."
- answered by kazacan44

Answer #20
He is trying to keep you hanging on. Flowers are a girls best friend, they win our hearts. My suggestion to you is to keep right on walking. If he has that much anger you don't need it. Moving on is not easy but staying behind? Which is worse? Do you want children? What kind of a life would it be for them? There are decent men out there just have to look a little harder for them.
- answered by bobblehead

Answer #21
yes i think that he is holding on but i can tell you from exp. that if he will hit you one time he will do it again and again and he won't change until he is ready and if you have given it that long and he still has'nt changed then he more then likely will not .
- answered by havingfunmudding

Answer #22
That is a very good question. Perhaps I can put a little light on you love problem. If I could guess you both fight over the things you find out from others that has lead you to divorce.(Maybe I'm Wrong) I would talk to him about this. Only he will know the true reason. If you share questions just like this one with each other you will come to understand each other better. When you finally learn to trust each other you will find that only your own answers are right and no one else's opinion matters; not even mine.Good luck to you both, no matter the outcome.
- answered by yugobeu

Answer #23
It is a sign of respect. Don't read into it.
- answered by jeffpuck67